used to

The thing is, I used to be a good writer. Possibly more accurately, I used to think I was a good writer and I don’t so much think so anymore. I may, in fact, have the same ability to write now as I did back in the “used to’s”, but as to whether or not it was good then or now, I’m no qualified judge.

I do remember how to belabor a point.

I want to write more, paint more, sculpt more, do more…and I’m not sure why I don’t. I AM sure why I don’t and it’s because of distractions. A lot of them are delivered to me through the very same laptop on which I am now typing this. Between Hulu, Netflix, and Facebook, there’s a good 20-25% of my life frittered away. Granted, I watch a shit-ton of “important” and “considered” documentaries that make me socially aware; but I also watch a lot of ancient SNL clips and spend a good amount of time typing out pithy comments to my friends’ wall posts instead of actually talking to them. That doesn’t seem like a good thing.

Media is keeping me from working in mediums.

Some stuff still remains. I still play guitar a lot, I still take pictures…but I barely draw, marginally paint, sorta write, and haven’t sculpted or built anything in longer than I am comfortable with facing. I haven’t ridden a bike seriously in what has to be at least 2 years now and I still have a laundry list of professional and persona development to get to.

Even as I write this I’m struggling not to go to another site or check out another whatever or double-check that I did the whatsis. I used to think of it as multi-tasking, now I think of it as lack of focus. I need to re-align. First step, no TV for a week.

Until I wake up in the morning and watch the news.

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