Author Archives: DAK

They’re stockpiling water in Goeppingen-Jebenhausen, Germany (you know, Goeppingen-Jebenhausen… they have that great kraut place on the corner of Vershenkeller and Jegokleemaner?) as the European heat wave’s death toll hits 3,000. That is a lot of dead. Especially considering that … Continue reading →

Hello Darkness, my old friend… I ran into Hemant Lakhani’s lawyer in the market this morning. He was buying soy milk, a case of Mylanta, and more Pepsi’s than even I could probably stomach. He seemed pretty down in the … Continue reading →

The L.A. Times is reporting that Gray Davis is trying a new strategy of appearing devoted to his job as Governor: On Saturday… Davis signed legislation to ban toxic flame retardants. On Monday, he endorsed an antidiscrimination measure… Today, he … Continue reading →

This year (and every year thereafter) New York will turn on the Tribute in Lights to honor those lost in September 11th. The ephemeral towers will reappear for one night only; and be accompanied at the actual site by a … Continue reading →

Fan mail Hooray! I have some haters: Crappyjokehater@aol.com:You know what? I’m all about freedom of speech, but your shitty jokes are UNBELIEVABLE. Do you realize how retarded you sound with this lame material? I’m sorry, but as you can tell … Continue reading →

Great weekend. Involved a lot of the beach. Much hanging of ten, as well as of loose, was had. Food was involved, in large quantities, as were friends. Cingular, however, can bite me.

I’ve been seeing a lot of unfortunate advertising lately. Just today, while walking down the street, a panel truck went by with a business name emblazoned on the side in big red letters: Billiards & Stools Obviously, if given a … Continue reading →

Mortuary’s are an odd lot. They are at once discreet, yet unapologetic of function. Also, they are, without exception, named after their owner(s). In High School, I dated a girl whose family owned a local mortuary. I don’t recall ever … Continue reading →

So I’m writing this post, literally in the middle of the night, from a Kinko’s. Yeah, long story.

Let me tell you a little something about not having any money. Ready? Here goes: it sucks Don’t say I never told you anything useful.