floorpie

With decisions finally made, I should be able to return to my usual, banal content. After the quitting, of course.

The e-mail quitting, no less.

The e-mail quitting because my boss is in China for the next few weeks, having left with no suspicions (and why should he have, I wasn’t actually looking for another job).

I feel sorry for my co-workers, in a way (assuming I’ll be missed), as they are completely unsuspecting. As I mentioned, I’m fairly happy in my work, and wasn’t looking for anything, but this is an opportunity I don’t want to pass up (unless, of course, a $25k increase counter-offer is waved in front of me. Then, how could I say no?)

At any rate, this has been a stressful few weeks for me (even though it was in deciding between two positive things) and I’m going to need a second to decompress when this all finally blows over. (For my new co-workers potentially reading this, if you should get me a pity-signing bonus out of Job B, you will be able to borrow my stapler any time!)

So, the quitting. I’ve decided I need to e-mail my boss in China, and tell at least my PM in person. It should pretty much take care of itself after that, quitting being not unlike a forest fire. I have to wait a few days at least, though, as Job A still owes me $6,000 in reimbursement for my 4 weeks in Taiwan. “And why the “Job A” Job B” business,” I now wonder to myself. “Anyone can see where I work by taking a look at my resume. Ah well, all shall soon be revealed.

Because you’ve been waited with baited-breath: I accepted Job B. Now I just have to figure out how to quit a job I like.

I’m a genius in the 20 minutes between starting to fall asleep, and actually asleep.

The problem is, I mean that literally: I am a genius during, and only during, the 20 minutes before real sleep. Any time outside of that window (say, this morning, for instance), my genius no longer applies, nor is it recognized. No matter how profound and potentially earth-shattering my ideas are at that time, they are undoubtedly worthless by the next day; though I try to repeat them to myself over and over anyway, in hopes that I might remember in the morning. My genius has a half-life of only roughly 3 hours. Perhaps it’s like a game of telephone where on one side the original message is about how to create a sustainable and safe fission reaction, but on the other side comes out as ‘purple rubber baby buggy refrigerators keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool.’

Nah, I’m probably just an idiot all around.

At any rate, my profound thought of last night was that my knees don’t match. Yeah.
>
Rather, they do match, and that’s the problem, as they should be asymmetrical for better stacking. You see, when you sleep on your side, curled up into a comfortable ball, you can’t lay one leg directly on top of the other, matching it’s contours. Why? Your knees! They knock together and are very uncomfortable. They’re not like your hands, which perfectly and effortlessly lace together in benign contentment; or even your feet that, despite that ankle bone, can lay on top of each other without too much discomfort. Your knees, though, they have to be offset, setting your legs apart, and thus twisting your spine. And that can’t be good.

And my conclusion to these profound thoughts of non-matching knees? “Hmmm, I should really do something about that.” Yeah, I’ll get right on that.

Well, it’s getting down to the wire on the below, and I’m honestly not any closer to a definitive decision. I often think I am, of course, but then I get some kind of epiphany and swing the other way. I would love to take the second job, I really would. I think what is bothering me right now is the money, which is pretty strange for me considering that that’s never been all that important, typically speaking; but these are not typical times. Having been laid-off before my current job, and burning through all of my savings during the recovery period, I am really nervous about giving up a better paying job until I can afford to.

Also, Job B has already made it clear that their offer puts me pretty much at the top of their pay scale for this position. So, I’m concerned that I won’t be getting any raises over the next few years until I’m considered promotable. Putting myself already behind salary-wise, and then keeping myself down while the cost of living continues to go up, is not going to help me get my savings buffer back, or a house in the next five years.

But then Job B has everything I’ve been trying to get to over the past 4 years.

I think I’d be more willing to take the pay cut if I had some kind of assurance that it wouldn’t be for long. Then, of course, there’s the fact that I actually like my current job. Conflicted.

Thanks for your help,
Cletus

We’re gonna slow it down for a little bit here

I don’t mean to bring down the show or anything, but I have a serious question to pose to you, the nameless pairs, possibly fews. This is a real-life question from my, um, real. life. This is not a pithy quip, or scintillating observation (not that anything else here is). The question(s) is(are) this(these):

Say you have a job “A” (I have a job). It is a job that, generally speaking, you like. You get a call, though, from another company “B” that you had interviewed with a year ago, and they’ve given you an offer after some discussion. The run-down is that:

Job A

– already like my job
– pays well
– has better benefits (3 weeks vacation, gym reimbursement, lots of travel on business class)
– has great people

Company B

– more the type of work I enjoy
– a lot closer to home
– pays $5000 less
– benefits aren’t as good (two weeks vacation)
– people are great

It’s difficult for me to justify leaving a job that I enjoy and pays better, for a job I might (probably) would like more, while setting myself back at least a year financially. Even more considering the probable counter-offer from Job A.

It’s a strange situation to be in.

If I hated my current job, it would be easy to stomache taking a pay cut. But I don’t. I know I will like Company B a great deal; it is, in fact, just what I want to be doing in exactly the environment I want to be doing it in. I just can’t help but feel conflicted, though, as this offer is lower than any I’ve received in the past 5 years (by $2-10k).
>
SO. Give me some advice, please. Give me things to consider, or opinions you might have. I am a man conflicted.

I just got the, “What’s up, guy?” from someone I recognize but don’t know, which is my all-time second on the Greetings Deemed Most Awesome™ list. The first being the rather untouchable, Double Thumbs-Up While Flexing Biceps and Giving the Head Nod and Uttering ‘Sup?’, Delivered Without Irony™.

I know. It was awesome. I was there and I still can’t believe it to this day, some 5 years later.

“What’s up, guy?” is still pretty damn good, though. Friendly, in an aggressive sort of way, and completely non-committal. He clearly has next to no interest in what is indeed up with me, and would be shocked to the extreme were I to actually stop and tell him. “Well… dude, this weekend I went to the beach with my girlfriend and then we went to a party for a friend of mine which was pretty awesome it was a casino party with full on craps poker and blackjack which was pretty cool I was the blackjack dealer for quite a while actually and I was doing it up real Vegas style so anyway…” And so it goes.

But at least he made an effort, you know? I would much rather have the number 2 all-time Greetings Deemed Most Awesome™ as opposed to the alternative, nothing at all. Nothing at all lends itself to the Oh Look How Interesting My Shoes Suddenly Are™, or the Wait, Is There Someone Over There By That, Ummm, Plant, That I Should Now Direct My Attention To?™ which are just no fun for anyone.

You know those wheels you see land surveyor’s use that have an odometer on them? They’re basically a unicycle, but without the seat, and the guy walks around your property measuring off distances and such. Useful? I guess so.

At any rate, there is a display at Home Depot for one such device; but these babies aren’t your daddy’s surveyor-odometer-wheel-with-stick-thingies. These are hip. These are for the Youth of Tomorrow™. These are in i-mac colors which, seriously now, is beginning to get played out. These are…collapsible!

Really, they’re collapsible… says so right on the display: *Fits in Briefcase* Which is important because:

A. You are a surveyor who carries a briefcase in which you hold your:
– sandwich
– clipboard (with pencil)
– collapsible surveyor wheel with telescoping handle and i-mac coloring

B. You are a business man who inexplicably needs a collapsible surveyor wheel with telescoping handle and i-mac coloring, or
>
C. You are my dad, who is the last remaining person on earth who uses a briefcase in the first place… which must be the target consumer for these collapsible surveyor wheels wth telescoping handles and i-mac coloring, despite the astounding lack of necessity.

Advertising makes me… laugh? choke? One of those.

This is my stop, I wanna get off

When you dodge even the hint of war half a dozen times, and hide yourself away in the Air National Guard, why would you criticize a decorated war-veteran? Why would you do that? Why would you say he didn’t throw his medals away, “only” threw his ribbons? That sounds like the lamentations of someone who’s not familiar with the military… which Bush isn’t, having never really served in one. Having grown up in the military, I can tell you: ribbons are medals. They represent to the world what you did. No one wears their medals, they sit in a case or at the bottom of the drawer. You wear the ribbons.

You know Jack Nickolson in A Few Good Men? Sitting on the stand, spittle forming on lips, about to deliver his cliche. Covering his heart is a veritable field of multi-colored ribbons, each signifying meritous action. You don’t think it would be significant if old Jack had ripped them right off his chest and thrown them at Tom Cruise’s feet? Don’t talk about what you don’t know.

And besides, let’s say Kerry’s vanity outweighed his anti-war hubris. Let’s say that Kerry was, God forbid, proud of serving his country, and chose to keep his medals at the expense of his ribbons. The detail that seems to be missing from the Bush logic is that Kerry has the medals to do with as he pleases. He has the three Purple Hearts, a Silver Star, and a Bronze Star.

Bush has… nothing; save for enough questions about his whereabouts during 1972-1973 that whisperings of AWOL are starting to float around.

Military service does not make a good president. Dodging your duty and objecting to war does not (necessarily) make you any less of a patriot. Earning medals does not mean you will be better able to succeed in the rigors of world leadership any better than the next guy.

But if you don’t have it, if you didn’t earn it, if you weren’t able, don’t criticize a man who was. Medals? Ribbons? You’re missing the forest for the trees.